I need to get it back. Forget about me and save yourself.






woman you best be trollin'
we just barely escaped from a horde of vicious bandits
like literally the lowest human shits imaginable, who'd do things to you that would ravage you for the rest of your life
and now you want to go back for your loving stick
GET THE HELL ON

Look sharp, maggots! Devil Mountain, dead ahead!
Any tips, Jeigan?

It will be tricky, sire. We have only one means of entry, and our enemies will no doubt make use of the fort.
Perhaps if we sent one man on ahead, we could lure them-
Doga volunteers.
Indeed. And if he can seize the chokepoint, our ranged units should support him until the rest of us can move in.
ha ha oh man
Doga, we're meant to be together. There's no denying it anymore.

kiss me you fool

Oh, and don't forget we are to assist this Rena person. I understand she's being held to the north.
Right, right. Kain and Abel will and rescue cleric lady.
Will we now.
Yes. You will.
You have some very interesting ideas.
Abel. Do not backtalk me. Get up there.
Kain.
...I thought he was Kain.
I bet you did.
look both of you just
just go

...so I said "Look, buddy. See this scar on my face? See it, punk? How do you think I got this? Embroidering?"
Hey Marthipan. After this battle-
Heh. And what happened?
Well, she threw her drink at me.
Then she left.
Not my best pick-up line, overall.
...was thinking maybe we could-
How did you get that scar, anyway?
...



I don't like to talk about it.
I know you can hear me!
Oh. Sheeda. Didn't see you there. Uh, go help Kain and Abel.
...Kain and Abel?
With the rescue. Might need some extra support, I dunno.
Um...I'd love to! But there's just no room for me in that narrow pass. Not with the two of them there. I'd only get in the way.
Sheeda. You have a flying horse.






No I don't.
Yes you do.
Where? What horse? What are you talking about?
oh no she's covering its face with her hands
i guess that means i can't see it
FINE I'M GOING
I mean...anything for you.
Dearest.

Julian! Over here! Someone's come to help us!
I'm confused. I thought we were only saving one woman.
oh yeah because i have pink hair ha ha up yours
Well that's not very ladylike.
I guess you don't need any help, then. Toodles!
Wait! If you'll only take one, take him! Leave me if you must!
Isn't that cute? She thinks we're taking them.
Lady. You're misunderstanding a few things vis-à-vis this "rescue".
We're going to start kicking rear end in T-minus five seconds.
Four.
You may be alive when we're done.
Three.
If you are, good for you.
Two.
If not
One.
boohoo
WE RIDE

What? How do you know who I am?
I know many things.
...
How do you know who I-
You're talking.
Why are you talking? You should be throwing down. I came here to throw down. Let's go. Let's do this.
Or are you having second thoughts? Hmm? Maybe your little head is saying "Wow, I sure hope I don't have to spend the rest of my life with these subhuman outlaw scumbags. That would definitely be beneath me." Is it saying that? Because that's exactly what's going to happen. Unless you, say, have a sudden change of heart and switch sides.
This is your chance. Blow it. I dare you.

uhh bullshit
Excuse me?
bull
poo poo
poo poo from a bull
I'll not have my principles questioned by a thief!
okay so when you were chasing after rena
with your sword out
what was that exactly
...I had no intention of hurting her.
was it a rousing game of sword-tag
can i be "it"
Ah-ah! No more arguing, children. We're all friends now, yes?
yeah cool maybe later we can play red rover with loving halberds
rear end in a top hat

Since you came all the way here to get this axe as a gift.
Take note, villagers. This is how you do it. No small talk, no waiting to be asked, just make with the offering right off the bat. A+.

...
Uh, this
This isn't a good present.
Ohoho.
Jeigan?
Sire?
Torch.

Father. May I have a moment?
...
Father?
Are you speaking to me?
Yes. May I-
I'm not your father.
Oh. Er, forgive me. You are a man of God, so I thought-
I am not a priest and there is no god.
There is only blood. Blood and false hope.
...
I don't suppose there's any chance of a confession, then.
Perhaps in another life.
Except there is no other life.
So no.

Hey Barts, c'mere. I, uh, got you a new axe.
Really? Oh, you're a star, sire! Thanks!

That's the mark of a good commander, you know. Looking out for his troops.
Yep. That's me. Always keeping an eye out.
Alright Doga, you're up. Hook us some big ones.

Bandits! Step forth and face Doga! Be crushed beneath his iron boot!
What's all the noise?
Some armoured brick running his mouth. Looks like one of the prince's.
Your fortress is a chicken coop, and you the clucking occupants! Come out and die like men!
Let's get him!
Are you daft? That's what he wants.
Doga will take your wives while you lurk!
Stick to the plan. If they have to squeeze through the cliffs, we'll have the advantage.
Your bellies are yellowed! Your hair is out of style! Your nethers are inadequately sized!
Psst. Doga. Try this.
...
Fighters are underpowered!
oh gently caress that

Time to make some sushi, people.

Let's go! Doga! Gordon! And, uh...blue-haired kid!
Who are you?
I...I'm Kashim, sir. Princess Sheeda recruited m-
Fascinating. Go put arrows in the bad men.
Please let me go home, sir. My mother's sick. She can't take care of herself, sir. I have to go home.
Oh bah. She'd be dead by the time you got back.
...
If she's not dead already.
...
Which she probably is.
...
Hey, I bet you'd feel better if you shot someone!

Doga has removed the stopper!
You heard the man! Get in there!
Here we go.

Looks like we've been granted axe-ess!

FOR gently caress'S SAKE

You think you've won, you bastards?!
Uh, with...onetwothreefourfive...eleven against one? Yes! I'd say that's a fair assessment!
Fool! You may have overcome the rabble, but you will never defeat the mighty Hyman!
...
Your name is...
pfffft
*snrk*
So, uh, I take it this is your first time?
Of course not! Hundreds have come here and fallen by my hand!
Wow. You are a tough one.
We're gonna need some protection.
So you can take all of us at once, huh? Pretty impressive.
You sure you're ready for this? You can always say no!
oh god stop i can't breathe

poo poo, he wasn't kidding. He is tough.

drat it!
Hah! Weaklings, all of you! I'll cut you down one by one!

Your numbers mean nothing! Your law means nothing! Here, on Devil Mountain, I am king! And I decree that...

That...that, er...






'Sup?

We got that thing you wanted.
Prince Marth?
That's me.
Milord. I am Sister Rena. I understand that you sent your...bold knights to rescue me from those bandits, and I insisted on thanking you personally.
yeah thanks bro
Would that I could offer more than gratitude. I'm afraid most of my possessions were taken.
That won't be necessary.
Actually, I have something for you two. It rhymes with "description" and it isn't a prescription.
Er.
Sub...scription?
no

The bandits left 15000G in the castle!
Tomorrow we'll arrive in Orleans. Please get plenty of rest tonight.
...
Who the hell are you?

You look troubled, my child. Is there anything I might-
I AM A TERRIBLE SON.
OH GOD
HOW COULD I LET THIS HAPPEN
DEAR GOD
Seriously, who was that guy?
Anyone?