Sire, another battle is imminent. You will have to choose which of our units will accompany you.
Um. All of them.
No, sire.
Why not?
No, sire.
...
Why not?

There. I've chosen. Now what's our angle?
Our position here is quite defensible, milord. If we sent two or three men to intercept the northern squad, the rest of us could entrench ourselves and await their cavalry. After they've been dealt with, storming the castle should be trivial.

We must also dispatch those thieves before they sack the villages.
What have I told you about saying I "must" do things?
Forgive me, sire. I mean only that the assets would do better in your hands than the enemy's.
Oh, right. Yeah, gotta rescue those war funds.
Gordon, you handle the one closest to us. Sheeda, you get the one up north.
Why me?!
Because-
You're trying to get rid of me, aren't you?!
I-
Every single battle you keep ignoring me and sending me away!
Uh...I just don't want you taking the brunt of the fighting. That's all. I'd hate to see you get hurt.
...
Awww! That's so like you, Marthipan. Of course I'll kill the nasty man for you. Sorry for getting all huffy.
No, that's okay. My fault entirely.

Dude. Maybe you should just, you know, tell her you're not interested?
I have.
...and what happ-
She stabbed me.





Jesus Christing gently caress, are any of you people not terrible?
Hey dipshits! If you're going to go to war, the idea is to be good at fighting!
Fighting's kind of the thing!
Perhaps nobody told you that. Perhaps you were expecting tea and biscuits.
No biscuits here! How about some tea and death?






there's no tea either
we got death tea if you want that
hint: you don't

He's too fast! I don't think I can catch him!
You don't need to! You have a bow!
YEAH AND IT CAN ONLY SHOOT LIKE FIVE YARDS AHEAD
...
THAT REMINDS ME
CAN I HAVE A BETTER BOW PLEASE
Sire? If I may, I believe I can assist.
How? I thought you people only did the healing thing.
Not quite.

Hello, little man.

...
You are a twisted, twisted woman.
and i love her
I think I lo-
drat it.

Now what's this moron think he's doing?
Shall I deal with him, sire?
No, I've got it.



BLARGHK
Whoa.
That was awesome! Did you guys see that?!
See what?
Ugh.
Hey you! Get up. I want to do that again.
i'd honestly rather you didn't

Here they come!
Brace yourselves, soldiers! And know this! If you should you fall here...
I'll be quite annoyed!
'Cause these guys kinda look like pansies, actually!

Wait a minute. That knight is...
Wait! WAIT! Don't shoot him!

Rena?!
What are you-
...you first.
These people rescued me from a gang of bandits. I...decided to lend them my staff. Out of gratitude.
I was forced into battle after you betrayed the king.
Forced?
Yes. I and many others. Men who've never even held a sword before, mere children hurled onto the front lines...Macedonia has only worsened in your absence.
And you still fight in its name?
...
You're better than this, Machis. You know you're only supporting their actions by being here.
Do the right thing. Help us.

what
I said, they're great people. Which is good, because otherwise my brother might not join them.
oh
oh yeah these guys are the best absolutely
...indeed. Well, I'll certainly not raise a blade to my own kin. If I must desert, so be it.
Hmm. Sir Machis, the renegade knight. Sounds rather dashing, does it not?
Yes, let's not get too excited about-
Fear not, dear sister! I shall strike down all that would do you harm!






Get the redhead!



Ow! OWWWW!



yeah let's not kill the lady's idiot brother thanks

rena
i got shot
Yes. Yes you did.

Huh. That was quick.
Okay, people. Are you ready to stomp some stragglers?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
I said, are you ready to stomp some stragglers?
...yes.
I
We said yes the first time.

We return.
Without a scratch.
Why yes, we are amazing. Thanks for asking.
Ah! So I'm not the only cavalier in this motley band. Greetings, fellows. I am-
Look at this guy.
I'm looking at him.
Tell me what you see.
I see many things. I see chaff. I see superfluity. I see "trying too hard".
I see a benchwarmer, my friend.
Benched-rear end motherfucker.
Do...do you insult my honour, sirs?
Fresh squeezed bench juice.
Mmm.
Fruity.

I'm back!
Oh. Good. Wouldn't want to leave without you.
I got the thief.
Yeah, great. What's that you're holding?
His head.
...
I put a little bow on it for you.
Oh, wow. You really did, didn't you.
Isn't it cute?
It's adorable. Put it away now.

I don't like the looks of him.
His armour's just like Doga's!
Which means he'll be a bitch to kill.
Doga is not unkillable because of armour. Doga is unkillable because he is Doga.
Leave it to me. I've got just the thing.

Your behaviour is unaxeptable!

HAH! YES! WHO'S THE MAN?
Unacceptable...?
Oh, like un-axe-eptable?
Weren't you using a hammer?

Yeah, I don't know if that really works.
thank you yes i made a mistake
i need a minute

What's that building over there?
I believe it's an arena, milord. A barbaric institution where men fight to the death in exchange for coin.
...seriously?
Indeed.
drat. Really? Sounds like top entertainment. How come I've never heard of it?
We don't have them in Aritia, sire. Blood-sport has been outlawed for some time.
Well hell. That's job number one when get back. Have that poo poo annulled.
Navarre! Get in there and score daddy some gravy.
I am not a gladiator to be whored out in some pit!
noooo please don't make me kill people for money
i don't liiiiiike killing people for money that's why i signed on with a group of fuckwretched bandits
for money
...
waaah
I'll go if the thief does.
waaaah that's all anyone hears navarre

Good god you're hideous.
Kid, this ain't a brothel and I ain't here to be pretty. I'm here to take your pretty money and see the look on your pretty face when you die. And then I drag your pretty rear end out and throw it on the pretty corpse pile.
I-
Where the maggots will eat your pretty eyes.
...I'm here to fight.
You sure? I can keep goin'.

...Marich?
Marich! My god, how many years has it been? What've you been up to, you dog?
I was studying magic in Khadein. Then I heard you went and started a war. Thought I'd come back and make sure you hadn't got yourself killed.
Please. I haven't even been hit once. This stuff is easy.
Oh! Oh! Idea! You should come with us! That'd make it even easier!
...what, like, going into battle? With you? I don't know.
Oh, come on. You just said you've been studying magic. You could totally blast some dudes.
Yes, but that doesn't make me soldier material, does it? Sure, I know a few spells. That doesn't mean I can take a hit or march a jillion miles or whatever else you people do.
Sorry, Marth. I'd love to help, but...not my area. At all.
So be it. You leave me no choice.
C to the O to the N!
Conscripted!
NICE CATCH MY MAN
High five!
yeeeeah






We're still friends, right?
Marich?

Huh. Not bad, prettyboy. Crowd seems to like you. Got the whole strong, silent thing going on. Makes a change from the usual loudmouth pricks.
Just give me my money. I will not be returning to this cesspool.
Right, right. 1140 gold. Here you go.
1140?
Yup. What, you didn't even read the drat sign before you went in there? Winnings are ten to one.
...
I see.

Look, there's only one guy left. Just go take him out. It's not so bad. You'll see.
...fine.



AHH! AAHHHH! gently caress!
What are you doing?! You're supposed to stay out of range!
Oh! Of course! I'm sure that would have been obvious to me if I had any sort of military training!

The king and Nina are protected by Hardin in the northern castle.
...who?
The princess of Akaneia and the king's younger brother, sire. Respectively.
And they have what to do with what we're doing?
...
Sire, if I may be a touch brusque, just go with it for now.
Please give Hardin this sword.

Yeah, fat chance.

Hey, where's Navarre? It's time to go.

Navarre! Cough up the dough and fall in line. We're leaving.
One more match.
Say again?
One more. Just one more. Kill the men. Take their heads. Heads for coins.
Yeah, look, we're ready to move on here. You need to-
Sword goes in, gold comes out! Sword goes in, gold comes out! IN THIS PLACE, MEN BLEED GOLD! CUT THE JUGULAR! REAP THE SHINY HARVEST!